Day 292 / 57

Date: 29 January 2023
Sleeping location: Kutchire Lodge, Liwonde, Malawi
Distance (km today/total/total Part 2): 89 / 18023 / 3186
Estimated climb (m today/total/total Part 2): 200 / 153300 / 35300
“Too much” for a safari/cost of three pints in London: $25
Day in three words: Amongst the beasties

I decided to head out of town on the dirt road backstreets to link up with the main road in a more direct way, but this quickly turned out to be a big mistake. It was a total maze, bearing mininal resemblance to the layout on the map and with no apparent rhyme or reason. After going round randomly for a bit I went almost all the way back to the centre with my tail between my legs to find the tarmac. Thankfully said tarmac was a beautiful smooth road with a lovely big shoulder and I could relax and make good progress, through peaceful wetlands with lots of pretty lilypads and the odd monkey. I initially I had a mildly friendly wind from my 4 o'clock, but when the road turned 45 degrees left to skirt round Lake Malombe I got a ripping tailwind and began zipping along, frequently going 30 on the flat. There were big rocky hills to the right and the lake to the left, and it was pretty pretty. 

By this point I was ignoring almost everyone unless an active greeting was given. It's a bit of a shame that Malawi has driven me to this, because a lot of people are friendly, but repeatedly making the effort only to find out that they just want money is so draining. As usual I took tows from a few young guys who wanted to show off, but I did enjoy one old guy, who actually understood aerodynamics, drafting me for a while. Initially he was on the front but he signalled for me to take a turn in the pro cycling style, which I enjoyed. Around halfway I took a break for some cold sodas and bananas, but when I went to set off my left cleat wouldn't engage for some reason, which turned out to be that it was no longer attached to my shoe. I knew I'd unclipped the cleat here so I went for a hunt around on the floor nearby, eventually finding all the bits minus one of the screws. It's always the same cleat coming loose and I have no idea how to fix it with the materials available to me here.*

To get to Liwonde I had to turn off tarmac onto some dirt roads for several km. Along here a guy had dropped his bike, carrying LOADS of charcoal on the rear, into a big puddle and was struggling to get it back upright. I tried to help but could only use one hand as I needed the other to support Maggie, and after another guy appeared it took the combined efforts of 2.5 of us to get the bike upright again. Shortly after this there was a signed turnoff for the lodge I was aiming for, but for some inexplicable reason (the heat??) I instead chose to continue and take the route suggested by google maps. This soon degenerated into a narrow sandy track skirting the national park's fence, part rideable part walkable, so I followed this slowly in the “right” direction. My first interaction with the lodge was realising that it was on the other side of the fence and worrying that I'd have to backtrack the whole way, but thankfully a little further on I hit the correct route at the gate in. Said gate had the following magnificent sign:

IMPORTANT NOTICE

Once beyond gate entrance you are in the park

Animals lions, cheetah, rhinos & elephants will hang around the lodge day and night so please becareful [sic]. No loud noises are allowed as animals may come unnoticed. Always ask the guards to escort you when moving around. No feeding of animals.

Swimming pool is used by residents only.**

It was before 1pm so I'd done 170km in a shade over 24hrs, having left more than three hours of daylight unused. On the right road, with the right conditions...

Once inside there were (vervet) monkeys everywhere, who were not at all scared of people, but no sign of lions lounging by the pool or elephants sipping cocktails on the verandah. The lodge offered a boat safari that afternoon and a driving safari the following morning, $25 each. Initially I asked to take only the driving safari for reasons of cost, before realising that this was stupid and the opportunity to go on safari for a total cost of $25 was not one that comes often in life, so I rushed back and asked to do both.  

My trip companions were a nice Dutch couple whose names I never got and two Americans, Faye who's been working in Lilongwe for a decade now, and Steph who's out visiting her. The safari boat was out past a shallow pond filled with masses of water hyacinth, but to avoid getting our precious mzungu feet wet we were pushed out to it, by local kids getting their feet wet, in canoes made from hollowed out logs. Our guide was Patrick, a jolly guy from Rumphi with great English, enthusiasm and knowledge about the local wildlife. We chugged out to the Shire river (after Patrick had cleared masses of hyacinth from the outboard motor) which here was over 2km across and more like a lake. Over across the main park were small mountains (or "hills") covered with forest. The whole scene was very beautiful, even without any animals, but animals there were. We saw lots of hippos hanging out in the water, which I had seen before but mainly from land, a couple of faraway crocodiles also in the water, impala and waterbucks on the land, a few distant elephant and one elephant that was happily munching away on vegetation right next to the water. Well worth the $25. Back on land after our canoe transfer there was another elephant not far from the park fence. One of the canoe kids pointed out this huge animal with tusks and a trunk, explained to us that it was an elephant then repeatedly said "give money". Expert guiding services but still, no. 

Back at camp the five of us had dinner together but I left soon after as I was feeling a bit out of sorts. I thought it might be dehydration so asked the kitchen for a lime to make the lime/salt rehydration drink I discovered in Lilongwe. The chef went to their "larder" of a lime tree right next to the building and proceeded to knock some limes out of the tree with a massive stick. After supping on their juice I went to bed early, to try and sort myself out and also because the safari started at 5.30 tomorrow.

Malawian Signs Corner

Noody Barber

Big Sound Power of Musc [sic]

Thirsty Camel Bar and Bottle Store

The Answer Is Zerro [a bar]

Ronaldo Super Sound [a bar] 

Turning Point Liquor Bar and Grill 

Poshy Nails, Salon and Boutique 

*Any ideas dad?

**Not clear if "residents" in this context meant the paying guests or the animals