Maggie's Rambles

Date: 24 January 2023 Sleeping location: Mabuya Camp, Lilongwe, Malawi Distance (km today/total/total Part 2): 0  / 17695 / 2858 Estimated climb (m today/total/total Part 2): 0  / 152100 / 34100 White man hair: 50-200% more difficult Day in three words:  Anthony Bourdain-ing it   In the morning I moved Maggie and most of my stuff into a store cupboard and went out to find a minibus to Lilongwe. The first one that came was a total wreck with the passenger side front window (right next to me) seemingly disconnected from the rest of the vehicle, everything rattling and the speedometer stuck at zero*. I took it anyway because it was already quite full, so it "only" stopped in various places for about an hour in total (during one of which I was offered a live chicken) and I got off the bus on the outskirts of Lilongwe at about 11.30. The city initially seemed like an endless series of empty ring roads, and the bike shop that I’d got off to visit did not exist, so I quickly got a m

Date: 23 January 2023 Sleeping location: Half London Lodge, Salima, Malawi Distance (km today/total/total Part 2): 115  / 17695 / 2858 Estimated climb (m today/total/total Part 2): 400  / 152100 / 34100 3 - 2 = 1 Day in three words: Solo for real The hotel breakfast was just bread with a boiled egg, but the addition of masses of lemon curd, and managing to wangle an eggstra egg and some extra bread, helped. There were ants in the sugar, which I pointed out to the guy who returned the antless sugar surprisingly quickly. I think he just hid them under more sugar. Out on the road all was flat and featureless crop and marshland once more. Some nice birds livened things up a bit; bright orange and black ones, yellow and black ones, and fancy black and white ones with long tails which seem to be the males, and seem to flit around with a harem of up to 10 different plain brown female birds. The people are starting to get really annoying. Malawians consider themselves friendly, but about 50% o

Date: 22 January 2023 Sleeping location: Yanu Yanu Lodge, Nkhotakota, Malawi Distance (km today/total/total Part 2): 128  / 17580 / 2743 Estimated climb (m today/total/total Part 2): 500  / 151700 / 33700 Where it shouldn’t be: water Day in three words: The Wrong Goodbye Despite the early night we all slept terribly as we were "on alert" after being spotted so many times, meaning that we all woke up time after time for every voice, music and bit of rain during the night. I definitively woke at 5.30 to a light patter of rain, feeling very very tired. The rain kept going and soon there was wet, sand and wet sand everywhere, including in my tent which was 1.5x its usual diameter when rolled up. It didn't let up so eventually we set off into the wetness under grey skies along a flat road. All was dreary, and remained so for most of the day. During the morning there were two seemingly nonsense road blocks set up by locals (rather than police) attempting to get money from peopl

Date: 21 January 2023 Sleeping location: Beach 12.02329S 34.05301E, Malawi Distance (km today/total/total Part 2): 76  / 17452 / 2615 Estimated climb (m today/total/total Part 2): 600  / 151200 / 33200 Blood: not thicker than water Day in three words: The impossible camp Despite the sensible shot sharing I still woke up late-ish and a bit dusty. As at the Mushroom Farm it was a late departure with two breakfasts, the second being a rice porridge which was like unsweetened rice pudding and surprisingly good. Charles needed to use some of my tape to fix his pannier after some kind of rodent chewed into it to get at some bread,* but C&AC were still ready about 45mins before me so I said I'd catch them on the road. Settling my tabs was painful, especially considering I'd been buying all the (many) beers in cash. We've been spending too much in these mzungu paradises, and need to tone it down for a few days for reasons of both health and wealth.  After a couple of stiff clim

Date: 20 January 2023 Sleeping location: Butterfly Space, Nkhata Bay, Malawi Distance (km today/total/total Part 2): 0  / 17376 / 2539 Estimated climb (m today/total/total Part 2): 0  / 150600 / 32600 It’s a: pangolin Day in three words: Lakeshore lounge lizard   The morning was very lazy as befits a rest day. I had a shakshuka breakfast, which wasn't really shakshuka but was very tasty, and a massive pot of coffee which slowly restored my energy levels. C&AC had planned to get the boat south down the lake via an island, but the timings don't work so we will cycle together for a little longer. Finally, African Santa AKA me dropped off the gift that I had carried, all the way from Kigali, to Staphy* who worked on the reception here. She seemed very pleased with it, as did Max with the reliable delivery service. Four weeks is approaching Royal Mail levels of speed, and I didn’t leave a “sorry you were out” card when she wasn’t there the first night.  Butterfly Space is in a l

Date: 19 January 2023 Sleeping location: Butterfly Space, Nkhata Bay, Malawi Distance (km today/total/total Part 2): 58  / 17376 / 2539 Estimated climb (m today/total/total Part 2): 400  / 150600 / 32600 17th century French statesman of the day: Cardinal Richelieu Day in three words: Down the waterslide We all awoke late and had a lazy breakfast partially ordered from the restaurant and partially concocted from our stocks. On the off chance I asked the owner of Macondo if he had a bike tool kit, and he did, and it contained a crank puller. Glory be. First I set to fixing the cleat issue and finally got to the bottom of it  - the thread in one of the holes in the baseplate was stripped so the screw could just pull out. Hopefully rotating the baseplate and using the other holes will solve the problem. The crank however was a little more problematic. I got the bolt off but then the crank would simply not be pulled. I was wary of putting too much force through it, after the thread strippin

Date: 18 January 2023 Sleeping location: Macondo Camp, Mzuzu, Malawi Distance (km today/total/total Part 2): 81  / 17318 / 2481 Estimated climb (m today/total/total Part 2): 900  / 150200 / 32200 Bob Marley song of the day:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqVy6eRXc7Q Day in three words: Dirt road moratorium We awoke to rain, lots of rain, and the animals all stayed away in their tents or gazebos or whatever. All in all it was a bit of a waste of time coming to Vwaza, we saw hippos and baboons but I'd seen those loads before, plus some far away gazelle and the cute frog. Full of trepidation about the state of the dirt road, we set off on the mud/sand/mudsand, all of which were slippy slidy and slow going. Soon I figured out that the best approach was to either go very slowly or build up some speed then hit the dodgy bits, hold my nerve and surf through. Early on we took a wrong turning which subsequently turned out to be very good luck indeed. When we joined back up with the correc

Date: 17 January 2023 Sleeping location: Vwaza Rest Camp, Vwaza Wildlife Reserve, Malawi Distance (km today/total/total Part 2): 37  / 17237 / 2400 Estimated climb (m today/total/total Part 2): 300  / 149300 / 31300 Belle and Sebastian song of the day:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2fT6pssrES8 Day in three words: Chorus of hippos We had a lazy morning because we only had less than 40km to get to Vwaza Wildlife Reserve. This had been my suggestion, it was a day’s detour from the main route south but we’d heard there was decent potential for seeing some big creatures. The cycling was on tarmac then an acceptable dirt road, bumpy but dry*, and the going was relatively easy apart from a few sandy sections. Twice Maggie slid out and my cleat got stuck in the pedal and I fell very slowly into the sand. I'm claiming that these barely even count as falls, they are equipment malfunctions.   Near the reserve we took a small detour to a very strange village with hardly any fruit and veg on

Date: 16 January 2023 Sleeping location: Manguzi Executive Lodge, Rumphi, Malawi Distance (km today/total/total Part 2): 90  / 17200 / 2363 Estimated climb (m today/total/total Part 2): 1100  / 149000 / 31000 Superhero of the day: Batman Day in three words: Shroom no more It was genuinely a little emotional leaving, but it had to be done. To make the most of the kitchen one last time I ordered a double breakfast, veggie fry up, french toast and a big coffee, calories be damned I'm cycling. My final bill was twice my daily budget for the four day period, but it went straight on my credit card so it doesn't really count. We were so blissed out by our time there that we didn't leave until well after 10, which is frankly outrageous.  After final goodbyes we climbed a little more on the steep dirt road but after a few km it turned to tarmac, and the rest of the morning was very enjoyable. There were big ups and downs and twisty turns on nice gradients, on a very quiet road throu

Date: 13 - 15 January 2023 Sleeping location: Mushroom Farm, nr Livingstonia, Malawi Distance (km today/total/total Part 2): 15  / 17110 / 2273 Estimated climb (m today/total/total Part 2): 300  / 147900 / 29900 Veggie fry ups: 4 Day in three words: Magical mushroom moments I awoke way too early but was at least able to watch the view appear out of the darkness. It was raining for several hours in the morning and I stayed in bed for a while before venturing out for a veggie fry up and some tea in the restaurant. It was just like being at home (but on a cliff higher AMSL than most British mountains). The veggie fry up - eggs, beans, tomato, potato hash, sourdough, optional extra mango chutney/chilli sauce - was so tasty that I had it four mornings in a row.  A bit about the Mushroom Farm. It is a farm, not growing very many mushrooms but growing a lot of the produce that they use in the very tasty onsite restaurant. The whole site is strung out along the cliff edge, with the restaurant,

Date: 12 January 2023 Sleeping location: Mushroom Farm, nr Livingstonia, Malawi Distance (km today/total/total Part 2): 106  / 17095 / 2258 Estimated climb (m today/total/total Part 2): 11 00  / 147600 / 29600 Switchbacks: 19 Day in three words: Air and gravity I needed an early start as there was a big day ahead - 105km and 1100m of climb doesn’t sound so fearsome, but the last 10km was the (in)famous climb up to the famous-among-overlanders Mushroom Farm eco resort; 700m of ascent up a horrible rocky track. I'd read it took 3-4 hours so I figured that was 3 for me and I therefore needed to ride the flat 95km by 3pm to make it up before sunset. Despite this I slept in until the scandalous time of 6.45 then didn’t end up leaving until the scandalous time of 8.30, but all seemed well as I headed out of town at a decent pace, taking the wheel of the one kid who tried to race me and taking slingshots from the other cyclists that I overtook. Early on I saw two jeeps with GB plates comi

Date: 11 January 2023 Sleeping location: Club Marina, Karonga, Malawi Distance (km today/total/total Part 2): 101  / 16989 / 2152 Estimated climb (m today/total/total Part 2): 8 00  / 146500 / 28500 Forecast: Scorchio!* Day in three words: Warm and storm *  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mV9q_KdtQfc We were all awoken by a man playing loud religious music at 5.45am, but it was at least light by that point (the clocks went back an hour when we crossed the border, which I am unhappy about) so it just acted as a weird and slightly-too-early alarm clock. The profile today was some rolling hills followed by a long and gradual series of descents to Lake Malawi 800m below, and we set off into a light headwind that was like someone’s finger in your chest - it’s not going to cause too much resistance, but it’s annoying and it’s going to slow you down. At morning break we stopped for chai and were watched by some cute shy kids. I gave them a bit of popcorn, which they were initially skeptical o

Date: 10 January 2023 Sleeping location: CCAP Rest House, Chitipa, Malawi Distance (km today/total/total Part 2): 32  / 16888 / 2051 Estimated climb (m today/total/total Part 2): 2 00  / 145700 / 27700 In demand: fertiliser and inexplicable shirts Day in three words: Malawi are we After saying goodbye to the head we set off to do the last 30km into Chitipa. After the rains the road was a combination of all the things that kill bikes and speed; sand, mud, bumps, rocks and huge puddles. One puddle was so big it was sort of a community event with people helping each other to cross, including us. Malawians seem helpful and friendly but do not shout or stare too much - it's a nice combo. Later along the road a guy on a bike gave us some mangoes for free, which is rare behaviour in this part of the world. People speak much better English here than in Tanzania, which is good because it allows more meaningful interactions and also because the google translate app doesn’t do Chewa (the main

Date: 9 January 2023 Sleeping location: Kameme Community Day Secondary School, Kameme, Malawi Distance (km today/total/total Part 2): 74  / 16856 / 2019 Estimated climb (m today/total/total Part 2): 4 00  / 145500 / 27500 Types of road; mad, good, mud Day in three words: Unexpectedly in Malawi After the basic and weird breakfast we set off for an initial 10km down the main road north from the border. This was absolutely crazy, a narrow road with trucks frequently overtaking each other and forcing us off the side, potholes, dust being kicked up everywhere. I donned sunglasses and a bandana over the mouth, gangster style (probably) and we got through it as quickly as possible. Things got a lot nicer once we turned off, onto a flat smooth tarmac road through farmland, and we made easy uneventful progress.  For lunch we stopped in a small village where everyone seemed to be getting pissed despite the fact that it was a Monday lunchtime. Everyone was friendly but one slightly sozzled man as

Date: 8 January 2023 Sleeping location: Uwanji Classic Hotel, Tunduma, Tanzania  Distance (km today/total/total Part 2): 13  / 16782 / 1945 Estimated climb (m today/total/total Part 2): 1 00  / 145100 / 27100 Cleaning: new; super Day in three words: Crank remains unpulled I made coffee and a basic and weird breakfast in the room, having not realised that breakfast was included in the room price,* then popped out for my errands. I quickly found a sewing lady and dropped my shorts off for a more thorough repair than the last time. After that was the issue of my non-driveside crank.  When fitting the crank at home I seemingly hadn't tightened the crank bolts enough, and early on a creaking sound had developed when I put a lot of weight through the pedal. Despite now tightening the bolts, probably not to exact manufacturer recommended torque but definitely to "a lot", the creaking had remained. I wanted to get the crank off to have a look at what was going on, in case the bot

Date: 7 January 2023 Sleeping location: Uwanji Classic Hotel, Tunduma, Tanzania  Distance (km today/total/total Part 2): 135  / 16769 / 1932 Estimated climb (m today/total/total Part 2):11 00  / 145000 / 27000 Loser of Mango Jenga: me Day in three words: Sturm und Drang I set off at a pretty civilised time, after a pretty civilised breakfast, into perfect cycling weather - white cloud, nice temperature, no wind. There was a nice amount of hill* and the morning’s progress was good and uneventful, aside from the usual speed bumps of doom and at one point mass of huge ants swarming across the road with no apparent purpose. They were so big and swarmy that they created a faint rustling sound. The vibes in the villages were sleepy, quiet and friendly. I was starting to recognise some of the buses that ply the route between Mbeya and Tunduma, having passed them a few times in a few days, and they seemed to recognise me too as they often honked and waved. After two hours and 40km I stopped fo

Date: 6 January 2023 Sleeping location: Other lodge next to The City Lodge, Laela*, Tanzania  Distance (km today/total/total Part 2): 100  / 16634 / 1797 Estimated climb (m today/total/total Part 2):  800  / 143900 / 25900 Agent and host in Malawi: me Day in three words: Ton for fun *  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5dCSUD37qxQ You can’t resist that riff I gave myself my promised relaxed morning and set off from Swanga** at 11. C&AC had set off at 10 and I suspected I would catch them whilst they were stationary - I cycle a little bit faster than them, but the main difference in our overall speed comes because they take much longer breaks than me. The weather was a bit drizzly and cooler than the previous days, with minimal wind, so progress was very easy aside from the ridiculous speed bumps. The bumps themselves aren't a problem, but they are always "announced" on both sides by three sets of four ridges that are fine for a vehicle with suspension but require me to

Date: 5 January 2023 Sleeping location: Holland Hotel, Sumbawanga, Tanzania  Distance (km today/total/total Part 2): 65  / 16534 / 1697 Estimated climb (m today/total/total Part 2):  600  / 143100 / 25100 Going: Dutch Day in three words: The Big Sky* * https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sV7w5TaYjRA I was woken up by the wind rattling something awful outside my window and was immediately worried that this was going to be a problem, but a check of the Windy app suggested it was going to be a crosswind (for the next 300km, in fact). Having found bananas I was able to make a damn fine fruit salad, jazzed up with the addition of raisins peanuts and honey, and made coffee in the bathroom again. I'm slipping back into the rhythms of eating well in Africa, it's all about forward planning and hoarding nice things. So much for keeping Maggie’s weight down though.  Thankfully Windy was correct and it was a crosswind, so I was able to make progress calmly and listen to some podcasts, also cal

Date: 4 January 2023 Sleeping location: DJM Lodge, Chala, Tanzania  Distance (km today/total/total Part 2): 93  / 16469 / 1632 Estimated climb (m today/total/total Part 2): 1300  / 142500 / 24500 Motorcyclists: surly Day in three words: Eggegg and chipschips  I set off after procuring another chilled ginger beer from the magical fridge for the climb ahead. I had to get from the rift valley floor up to the escarpment 600m above, which was actually relatively painless; quite long and drawn out but not too steep or difficult for the most part. I stopped for chapati and chai at the top then set off along the gently undulating road. Up on the top it was greener, semi agricultural land, with occasional crops and grazing cattle but generally quite empty. Often the cattle were being watched by young men in the apparent traditional outfit of a skirt, wellies, a football shirt, a big stick and some snazzy bead jewelry. The people who I did come across would just stare silently, without saying h