Day 275 / 40

Date: 12 January 2023
Sleeping location: Mushroom Farm, nr Livingstonia, Malawi
Distance (km today/total/total Part 2): 106 / 17095 / 2258
Estimated climb (m today/total/total Part 2): 1100 / 147600 / 29600
Switchbacks: 19
Day in three words: Air and gravity

I needed an early start as there was a big day ahead - 105km and 1100m of climb doesn’t sound so fearsome, but the last 10km was the (in)famous climb up to the famous-among-overlanders Mushroom Farm eco resort; 700m of ascent up a horrible rocky track. I'd read it took 3-4 hours so I figured that was 3 for me and I therefore needed to ride the flat 95km by 3pm to make it up before sunset. Despite this I slept in until the scandalous time of 6.45 then didn’t end up leaving until the scandalous time of 8.30, but all seemed well as I headed out of town at a decent pace, taking the wheel of the one kid who tried to race me and taking slingshots from the other cyclists that I overtook. Early on I saw two jeeps with GB plates coming the other way, the first of which waved, so I gave an elaborate salute to the second, which of course then didn’t notice me at all. 

I was riding across a very flat agricultural floodplain and as the day went on a finger-in-the-chest wind picked up again, constantly sapping my speed with no descents to rest and pick it back up on. It started to become a seemingly endless grind. My speed varied between 15 and 25kph for no apparent reason, presumably for imperceptible gradients up and down, and the amount of spare time I had was gradually whittled away by my low speed*. This meant that my planned casual lunch/snack breaks were also whittled away to three stops outside shops with sodas, biscuits and a bag of corn puffs, a snack that seems popular in Malawi and is relatively cheap and tasty although nutritionally and texturally dubious. I wasn’t really enjoying the day and was feeling irritable with people, a big sign that a rest day was required.

One funny moment came when I saw a child wearing one flip flop on his foot and one on his hand, and jokingly gestured that it should go on his foot. His friends then pestered him until he shrugged and put it on his foot. The white saviour strikes again! What would those Africans do without me.**

At about 2 I came over a small crest and saw a curving bay backed by huge escarpment. It was very beautiful and also slightly intimidating since I knew that I had to get up there. After a short break, spent with two local jokers who were friendly but repeatedly tried to sell me weed, I got stuck into the climb a little before 3. At the turnoff my first thoughts were "is that really the road" and "is that really where it's going", the answer to both of which was “yes”. There were lots of big rocks so riding was fiddly, with frequent sections that weren't rideable, and I quickly realised that it was easier to just push most of it. The gradients weren't too bad due to a ridiculous series of switchbacks, so my progress was good despite immediately becoming soaked in sweat and being bitten by annoying little flies. Up in the forest near the top were some pretty little waterfalls and I saw some baboons scampering in and out of the trees between the hairpins of the road. Despite pushing for about 2/3 of the 10km I made it up in 2h15 with plenty of time to spare, and found it a great deal less fearsome than expected. 

The Mushroom Farm is in a ridiculous/amazing place right on the edge of a cliff overlooking the lake and the abovementioned bay. I took a "safari tent" which had a comfy bed and looked out right over said cliff, then signed up for the tasty communal dinner and met another cyclist, Flo(rian) from Germany. Like me he is travelling alone but has been dipping in and out of another group over recent weeks. He is also heading south and it sounds like we ride at a similar pace so there is scope for us to meet up around when I say goodbye to C&AC around Lilongwe. After food and a couple of beers I was wiped out and went off to bed about 8.30. I left the tent “doors” open so I could see the lake and the shoreline, 600m below, from my bed. Looking down at the lights I initially thought the shoreline had moved, but then I realised there were loads of twinkling fishing boats out on the lake. This is a magical place. 

Malawian Signs Corner

Mr Bolt and Nut

EMJ Cake, Wedding and Sausage Suppliers

Big Peter Maize Mill

Whitehead Liquor Shop - home of giants

Betamax Electronics (right on the cutting edge of technology)

“Forgive me Allah for all” on a truck (presumably “all” in this case means “all my bad driving”)

Let Me Go Financial Planning Limited 

*My speed was also not helped by me carrying 3l of unfiltered water from the hotel in case I needed to refill my bottles quickly. Sadly I then realised it was orange and smelled like rust and therefore was not suitable for quick purification using tablets, so I just discarded it and got some from a pump, meaning I carried an extra 3kg for 80km for no reason at all

**Should it not be clear, THIS IS A JOKE DON’T CANCEL ME