Day 240 / 5

Date: 8 December 2022
Sleeping location: Panolama Eden Golf Village, Ruhengeri AKA Musanze, Rwanda
Distance (km today/total/total Part 2): 49 / 15077 / 240
Estimated climb (m today/total/total Part 2): 600 / 122000 / 4000
Stage winner: Davey
Day in three words: Ug becomes Rw

In the morning I packed up unhurriedly and went off to Rwanda. The last 10km of Uganda had the same green hills and generally nice toddlers/adults and greedy children as the last few days. All in all I really liked Uganda and it was probably my favourite country of the trip, or maybe joint first with Turkey. Lots of beautiful scenery packed into a relatively small package, friendly people who speak decent English, fun wildlife and pretty good food including the world’s best and massive-est avocado. I was a bit sad to not get any rolex* this time; generally I haven’t seen any roadside rolex, chapatis or samosas for sale. I wonder if the soaring price of wheat means everyone has pivoted to the horrible roasted corn now. If so this is yet another tragedy of this stupid, vainglorious war in Ukraine; I bet Putin didn’t even consider my roadside cycling snacks when he sent the tanks in, the absolute bastard.

The border process was smooth and I was in and out in well under an hour having changed some money at not-too-silly rates. At the final checkpoint the Rwandan guard asked if I had been through the customs area, I said no, he asked if I had anything that “wasn't ok”, I said "...no?" and he waved me through. A good thing as I'd have been gutted to lose my tasty Ugandan coffee. As I set off to ride he asked if I knew if they drove on the right, which I actually didn't, so he might have saved me from a bit of a pickle there. 

The first thing to do in Rwanda was fix my extremely sticky and by now essentially useless rear brake. I did this propped up against a mobile phone stand and attracted a small audience for my piece. After fifteen minutes I'd fixed it by squirting chain lube in every possible orifice until it was ok. I then gave the crowd a performative bow, which got some mild laughs. 

Just after the border I took a brief detour to see Lake Burera, which was pretty although not in the same league as Mutanda. Around here one kid on a bike just stayed with me for about an hour, including when I stopped for some pictures and a snack. He mainly just stared silently and only asked for money a few times in a sort of half hearted way, so maybe he was hoping I would just shit out some mzungu gold, or maybe he was just interested. When I got back to the main road he didn't even say goodbye. 

Initial impressions of Rwanda were that it was exactly the same as Uganda but with more eucalyptus trees, more gormless kids who stare for ages but don't say anything, fewer horrendous speed bumps and lots more bicycles. The bikes are fun as they are pretty well maintained, often colourful and mostly have two bells, which are dinged often. Some of them are used as bike taxis and go at an impressive clip considering they are quite old, single speed and pulling a total weight that must be similar to what I’m pulling. Some of them were pretty evenly matched with me and for about 10km I entered into a race worthy of a Tour de France stage. 

It started when I pulled up behind someone carrying a middle aged lady in a red cardigan, both of whom looked extremely unimpressed/nonplussed when I began to draft them to save energy. He was going at a good pace but I stuck tight to his wheel for some time before suddenly attacking on a descent and dropping him. But then out of nowhere came Orange Bucket Hat, steaming up from the back and straight into the lead. I got onto his wheel and a small peleton developed behind us, with Red Cardigan able to join back on briefly before being dropped (or maybe just stopping to drop off the lady). Orange Bucket Hat then put the hammer down uphill and everyone but me was dropped. Together we then went past Grey Flat Cap, Yellow Headdress and Brown Beanie, clearly the remnants of the earlier breakaway. We were evenly matched until I attacked again on a descent and managed to drop Orange Bucket Hat, before steaming past the Miscellaneous Sacks Of Organic Material twins, the last surviving remnants of the breakaway, and into the lead. The twins didn't like this and gave it everything to try and get back on the front, and with sweat dripping down their faces and a grimace of pain (or maybe just a big smile) they regained the lead. But then calamity struck as they accidentally turned off the official route and were immediately disqualified, leaving me to romp home to victory at the stage finish in Ruhengeri.

Having cut short the planned detour round Burera once I realised it wasn't all that, and completed the last 10km at a race pace, I arrived into Ruhengeri** at about half 3 (which was actually half 2 because unbeknownst to me the clocks had gone back an hour at the border) but decided to stop here anyway and take care of admin like getting a sim card and some meaningful cash reserves. The first hotel I visited, the Panolama Eden Golf Village, had no panorama (or “panolama”), no golf facilities, and was a few rooms around a narrow concrete courtyard rather than a village, but it had a decent enough room for a decent enough price and even a bonus little antechamber for Maggie to relax in. Rwanda seems richer than Uganda, the plugs are different and I am still not sure what the language is; I'd assumed French but English seems more widely spoken, but with the odd smattering of french words on signs and in conversation. After sorting my admin I had lunch at 4pm and dinner at 6pm, which might just be two dinners if we’re honest, then got an early night.

*Chapati fried with an omelette in the middle and rolled, hence “Roll eggs” = rolex

**Or Musanze - apparently they changed all the district names a few years ago and now the cities all have two names, which is obviously going to be an absolute hoot for me