Day 184

Sleeping location: Alkala Hotel, Kitale, Kenya
Distance (km today/total): 56 / 12841
Estimated climb (m today/total): 900 / 94400 
STEEP AND MEANDERING ASCEND: 6.5km
Day in three words: Grind and bumps

We headed off through thickly wooded hills in the morning sunshine. The road gave us a bit of a warm up with a few km of gentle climb, then launched into a tough section of 500m over 6km with no respite from the gradient. We ground our way up slowly but actually it wasn’t too bad, perhaps because I was gobbling dozens of “minty pops” mints for energy. The landscape was very green and beautiful, with occasional spectacular views back down to the valley floor through the trees, and it almost felt like Britain at this altitude and with the amount of rain they must get around here. This impression was ruined at one point by the sight of a large “techno lizard” (my name) with a bright blue body and bright orange head. At the top of the climb was a sign for people going the other way warning of “6.5KM OF STEEP AND MEANDERING DESCEND”.

At the top we entered a landscape of rolling green hills, and it was almost like we had arrived in another version of Kenya. All of a sudden it was much busier and felt much wealthier. There were way more towns and villages, all of which were equipped with absolutely lethal speed bumps. The bumps themselves weren’t actually the problem, but they always had warning “prebumps” at ether side, designed to alert drivers to the upcoming bump. These consisted of two or four low bumps in a row, which gave a car a light vibration but were absolute murder on a heavy and suspension-less bike. We had to slow to about 5kph to avoid shaking ourselves to death (ironically the main bumps could be ridden at over 50kph if you had the right technique). There were more people about, which meant more shouts and greetings. This was kind of annoying as they usually fall into one of two categories:
1) “Mzungu”, which means white person, and is used to attract attention. After months being called farenji/China all the time, being hailed based on the colour of my skin is beginning to wear thin*.
2) “Habari”/“How are you”. The traditional Kenyan greeting is a sort of call and response of habari (“how are you”) followed by mzuri (“I am fine”). This does not at all work as a greeting whilst cycling, because there’s no time to give a proper response, and just saying “I am fine” feels robotic and stupid. There is also something weirdly sinister about 30 children all screaming “HOW ARE YOU!” at once. 

We had a lovely picnic by a babbling brook across from a field of cows, which felt like a scene from an Enid Blyton novel, apart from the fact that occasionally black people would make an appearance and say hello. It’s so nice to be able to sit and have a picnic and not be surrounded by people staring and/or begging; Kenyans are friendly but generally give you personal space. We got to Kitale, a pretty big town, mid afternoon and decided to stay there and rest after a couple of tough days. Because it has a strange layout we approached it via fields and forest before abruptly popping out right in the centre. All of a sudden hotels were terrifyingly expensive** so we went for one of the more affordable options, a strange empty place dripping with faded colonial glamour. It felt like we were the first guests since 1947. The room was big and had a bath, so Rebecca enjoyed this whilst I blogged at the proper writing desk, both of us enjoying a well-earned and surprisingly cheap Guinness. About 5pm the now customary afternoon thunderstorm hit, but we were safely hidden and stayed dry whilst watching the Maribou storks in the trees across the street looking thoroughly pissed off. Dinner actually had some flavour for once; maybe the food in “Kenya 2” will be better.

*Yes, I am aware of my white privilege, and don’t consider the word racist, or believe that anyone means any real harm by it. But it is still annoying. As an aside, there is a bird with a call that has the same rhythm as “mzungu”, and hearing it always raises my stress levels. 
**The first one I asked at was 7500 shilling a night. We had paid 600 for two rooms the night before. 

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